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Style & Substance: on being ready for change

Dear Readers:

This week, we are asking the question or maybe just giving some answers!

We meet many people in our Life Coaching business who feel that they do not necessarily need therapy, but need something. They are not unhappy, but not quite happy; they may be feeling a sense of discontentment or feel disconnected in some vague sense. They can possibly define a goal but not the path to achieve it. These feelings indicate a readiness for change and in our words, being STUCK. This may seem simplistic (and we touch on it over and over again); however, this truth is often ignored, no action is taken and no change occurs.

Humans are motivated by one of two forces, love and fear. Once we begin to take action from a point of love, we begin to get unstuck. Love can take many forms: PASSION FOR A CAUSE can lead us to speak up in ways that surprise us, to seek deeper meaning and connections, spark some resolvable conflict, and lead to better and more fulfilling relationships with a partner, spouse, or child. FALLING IN LOVE (or trying to) can energize us and allows us some confidence and freedom to risk. RESPONDING IN LOVE to someone’s emotional high or low allows us to feel more intensely and clarify what is important to us.

Opposite of LOVE, is FEAR, which not only keeps us stuck, but as Janet Reno said, “fear diminishes us”. It can leave us believing we are smaller and less adequate than we actually are. The biggest fear that holds us back is FEAR OF FAILURE. We often hear inspirational thoughts on not accepting failure but the reality is; failure has real repercussions and consequences in our lives. We often don’t try something because we have no guarantee that it WILL work out for us. FEAR OF BEING LEFT BEHIND happens when we see our peers making great strides in academics, sports, weight loss, or moving to a new place. This can be a motivation or a hindrance; your choice!

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